Custody Changes: The Wishes Of The Children And The Court System

There are times when a custody arrangement is not in the best interest of the children. When both parents share custody equally, the children may end up spending a lot more time than they did before with one parent. While both parents deserve an equal chance at parenting the children, it may become apparent that the children doesn't want to be with one party as often as they are. When there are no protective concerns, this is generally not a reason to get a child custody lawyer involved. If a child consistently complains about going with one parent and does not feel safe in their home, then it is time to consult with a child custody lawyer to see what can be done.

The Wishes of the Children

Young children have minimal power of their own lives, including in the court system. A five-year-old that cries because they want to stay with dad because "mom is mean" isn't going to be given a voice in court. Children struggle with transitions all the time, and crying during a transition is common for a five-year-old. As the child gets older, they begin to have more control over their circumstances. While there is no set age when a child's wishes are taken into consideration, a ten-year-old with strong convictions about staying with one parent may have an impact on their custody arrangement.

Guardian ad Litems and Court

Your young teen may start to express a desire to stay with one parent more over the other. While this can feel very hurtful when that parent isn't you, it's important to listen to their concerns. If your child is adamant about being with one parent, a guardian ad litem may be assigned to your custody case to determine what is in their best interests. The guardian ad litem will talk to your young teen and try to determine what their true wishes are and why. To avoid your teen having to go to court, the guardian ad litem can speak on their behalf through a written report or in testimony. For parents who can't agree to change a custody arrangement without the court, the guardian ad litem can be the voice of the young teen.

Child custody arrangements can change over time, as the needs of growing children change. When your child is expressing upset over the arrangement, a child custody lawyer can help you get the changes they want.


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